At Psychological Health and Wellness, located on the Mesa/Gilbert Arizona border, we have found that the first hurdle to treating social anxiety and phobia is to help the sufferer see that people’s well intentioned though harmful attitudes are not meant as criticisms, but that they are legitimate strategies used by others to deal with things, it is just not the strategy that will work for them. Read the rest of this entry »
There is a general mythology that social anxiety or phobia begins in adolescence, and that it is an unfortunate experience of being a shy or awkward teenager. Some writers even point back to childhood and express that “shy” children mature into adults with social anxiety. However the reality is sometimes if not significantly more complex than those oversimplified answers. Read the rest of this entry »
A very talented Engineer from Arizona sought help with a challenging problem that was interfering with her professional life almost daily in the last few months. She had worked for the same firm for seven years and been quite successful in small work projects and because of the talent and skills that she possessed she had been promoted to manage not only an office of this large company but also a division of the company at large. Read the rest of this entry »
Some of the strategies that become apparent in predatory anger are listed below:
When looking at the traumagenic family dynamics related to the generation of traumagenic family dynamics, one would notice a continuum of family dynamics. Perhaps the simplest or less in magnitude would be those behaviors that a caregiver or parent may demonstrate with a small child for example: Read the rest of this entry »
Recently a woman sought therapy because she was feeling overwhelmed in the relationship with her husband. As she sat tearfully recounting her experience of a seven year marriage, an emerging pattern of predatory rage began to take shape. She talked about the charming sophisticated man, capable of tremendous generosity and a razor sharp intellect who has increasingly acted more hostilely with hurtful and demeaning comments and behaviors. It lead her to ask “Why is my husband so angry all the time?”
Social psychologist such as Harm Veling, suggest that predatory or instrumental anger is used in ways to gain power, control and to manage interactions in the behalf of the one expressing the anger. Clinically, most counselors that have dealt with couples or family therapy have had many an opportunity to view the mechanic of predatory anger first hand.
The question of what is the origin of such aggressive and hostile control strategies can be found most frequently in the developmental history of the individual who acts in the predatory fashion. The developmental history most often illustrates a family dynamic that could be considered Traumagenic in nature. Anger is pervasive in traumagenic family dynamics and it is assumed by many raised in these highly disruptive environments to be a reasonable and meaningful way to bring predictability to chaos and order to human relationships.
Before examining the attributes of the traumagenic family that contribute to predatory anger or rage, it is vital to disclose that not all anger and rage is the same or equal in terms of danger and lethality. Some anger is the result of repeated or long term frustrations, habitual interference with need acquisition, dis-inhibition from the use of substances, and serious mental illness.
There is not absolute answer to what generates anger with any predictability, because many attributes of that contribute to the expression of anger are going to be in a constant state of adaption and fluctuation. Many of these traumagenic families possess patterns of behavior that interfere with the normal social, emotional, psychological and physical development of the individual family members, which means there are functioning patterns that disturb appropriate and adequate use of power, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, and connecting in genuine relationships of shared and equal affection.
There can be an illusion of connectedness, a psychological defensiveness toward genuine attempts at emotional attachment, an avoidance of real emotional closeness and affection with a simultaneous drive to possess the same, as well as a high need to exercise control and power to create internal states that are free or possess reduced tension.
This dynamic creates relationships that lack a self-sustaining quality, which would be essential to developing enduringly satisfying relationships and a healthy unfolding of the normal maturing process.
Are you living in a hostile, predatory environment? Are there elements of this story that can relate to, either directly or as a direct result of your relationship with a loved one?
The price-tag of these incestuous experiences is very high with in the family and the lives of the individual victim. Many symptoms and behaviors are associated with the experience of incest. The following is a short list of the most prevalent and pervasive problems faced by the victims. Read the rest of this entry »
Emotional deprivation is another common element in the manifestation of incest within a family. Emotional deprivation is common when the attention of the caregiver is focused away from the immediate welfare of the children or family. An example of this might well be the addict, that put’s their need for a drink or a substance above the welfare or emotional needs of their family members. Another posture of this dynamic is the caregiver or parent that engages in sexual behavior with a child to meet their needs for sexual gratification and attachment. Read the rest of this entry »
Dr. Jeffrey Young has laid out a system to explain the distortions created in a family this intergenerational transmission is active. Incest is just one possible problem that can emerge as a result of these destructive family patterns. The following text offers a possible explanation to how this dynamic contributes to the emergence of incest and how it becomes a family dynamic that is frequently handed down in a family. Read the rest of this entry »
What a horrifically challenging experience for a family to deal with! Someone who is loved in a family has violated someone else within the family and now the consequences of incest are descending which adds weight to an already over-stressed family system. Read the rest of this entry »
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