Family Communication part #10: Negative Patterns, Distorted Viewpoints and Learned Behavior.
Most families operate on familiar, habituated communication patterns. Sometimes these patterns produce wonderful and sustaining results, while other learned behavior and habituated styles of communication precipitate anger and dissatisfaction and difficulties in the family and the family relationships at large.
Being assertive is a foundational communication skill. Many people when thinking of assertiveness in communications tend to misperceive it as hostile, abrupt and rude. This of course is very far from the reality; assertiveness is quite different than aggression.
How often have those who are married or in long term relationships found themselves in a conflict they couldn’t resolve. In the spring of 1999 one of my clients stated, “I have only had one fight with my husband, it started on our wedding day in 1968 and we are hoping for an ending real soon.” While her comment was humorous, it does highlight one of the problems in communication with couples and families.
Family Communication Part #7: Family Identity – Beliefs, Values, and Attitudes All families have a collective sense of identity, sometimes that identity is an asset to the family and sometimes it is less so. Family identity or the “this is who we are” is based on a foundation of beliefs, values and attitudes. This family identity also carries with it a number of attached “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” that provide the matrix for family interactions to unfold. Read the rest of this entry »
Hurtful Words: A knowledge of the ways in which words affect you and how your family interact.
Every family has a unique way in which words produce responses. For example one family might really enjoy movies and insert movie lines to convey large bits of information in a specialized way.
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