Check out part 4 of Dr. Robert Rhoton’s presentation on Family Dysregulation due to trauma. Part 4 takes a closer look at environmental factors that contribute to traumagenic families.
“I thought marriage and having a family would really be more about sharing and having fun together” “What I am finding is that it feels like all the light and energy have been sucked out of me, and I am miserable and feeling hopeless!” So spoke a mother of four struggling with depression and intense feelings of inadequacy. Read the rest of this entry »
As a wife, mother, and counselor, I am still simply a woman…a woman who has, and is currently, battling the emotional distress, physical and mental fight of infertility. I found the article Infertility and Emotional Resilience very interesting. Read the rest of this entry »
For the fifth straight night, she hasn’t slept well, her sixteen year old son is suffering from the effects of chemotherapy and this is the first week of treatment. Seven years ago she went through this with him and after nearly a year he went into remission. She was thankful and felt God had answered her prayers and spared the life of her much beloved son. However, Read the rest of this entry »
One of the challenges to working with children in a clinical setting is that they are rarely strong enough to overcome the environmental press created by the family dynamics they are being raised within. In society today their is a movement away from accountability in general, and many times when a child therapist wants to address the environment that children are being raised within, the parents scream “FOUL BALL” and claim that they are being blamed for the bad behavior of their children. Read the rest of this entry »
Some of the strategies that become apparent in predatory anger are listed below:
When looking at the traumagenic family dynamics related to the generation of traumagenic family dynamics, one would notice a continuum of family dynamics. Perhaps the simplest or less in magnitude would be those behaviors that a caregiver or parent may demonstrate with a small child for example: Read the rest of this entry »
Recently a woman sought therapy because she was feeling overwhelmed in the relationship with her husband. As she sat tearfully recounting her experience of a seven year marriage, an emerging pattern of predatory rage began to take shape. She talked about the charming sophisticated man, capable of tremendous generosity and a razor sharp intellect who has increasingly acted more hostilely with hurtful and demeaning comments and behaviors. It lead her to ask “Why is my husband so angry all the time?”
Social psychologist such as Harm Veling, suggest that predatory or instrumental anger is used in ways to gain power, control and to manage interactions in the behalf of the one expressing the anger. Clinically, most counselors that have dealt with couples or family therapy have had many an opportunity to view the mechanic of predatory anger first hand.
The question of what is the origin of such aggressive and hostile control strategies can be found most frequently in the developmental history of the individual who acts in the predatory fashion. The developmental history most often illustrates a family dynamic that could be considered Traumagenic in nature. Anger is pervasive in traumagenic family dynamics and it is assumed by many raised in these highly disruptive environments to be a reasonable and meaningful way to bring predictability to chaos and order to human relationships.
Before examining the attributes of the traumagenic family that contribute to predatory anger or rage, it is vital to disclose that not all anger and rage is the same or equal in terms of danger and lethality. Some anger is the result of repeated or long term frustrations, habitual interference with need acquisition, dis-inhibition from the use of substances, and serious mental illness.
There is not absolute answer to what generates anger with any predictability, because many attributes of that contribute to the expression of anger are going to be in a constant state of adaption and fluctuation. Many of these traumagenic families possess patterns of behavior that interfere with the normal social, emotional, psychological and physical development of the individual family members, which means there are functioning patterns that disturb appropriate and adequate use of power, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, and connecting in genuine relationships of shared and equal affection.
There can be an illusion of connectedness, a psychological defensiveness toward genuine attempts at emotional attachment, an avoidance of real emotional closeness and affection with a simultaneous drive to possess the same, as well as a high need to exercise control and power to create internal states that are free or possess reduced tension.
This dynamic creates relationships that lack a self-sustaining quality, which would be essential to developing enduringly satisfying relationships and a healthy unfolding of the normal maturing process.
Are you living in a hostile, predatory environment? Are there elements of this story that can relate to, either directly or as a direct result of your relationship with a loved one?
Many people have experienced horrible and terrifying moments that have burned painful memories and associated emotions deep within their psyche. An example of this might be the husband that finds his wife has been unfaithful to the marriage vows and is now pregnant with another man’s child; perhaps the mother that discovers her new husband has been molesting her daughter. These horrible experiences create emotional and psychological scars that interrupt and interfere with living a stable and satisfying life. Read the rest of this entry »
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