One of the most significant aspects of this book is that it presents a structured way to form and maintain positive therapeutic relationships between the client and the therapist. It shows a frank and straightforward way to be respectful and help the client find the strengths and abilities to navigate problems and build a future of positive possibilities.
Family Communication part #10: Negative Patterns, Distorted Viewpoints and Learned Behavior.
Most families operate on familiar, habituated communication patterns. Sometimes these patterns produce wonderful and sustaining results, while other learned behavior and habituated styles of communication precipitate anger and dissatisfaction and difficulties in the family and the family relationships at large.
Being assertive is a foundational communication skill. Many people when thinking of assertiveness in communications tend to misperceive it as hostile, abrupt and rude. This of course is very far from the reality; assertiveness is quite different than aggression.
How often have those who are married or in long term relationships found themselves in a conflict they couldn’t resolve. In the spring of 1999 one of my clients stated, “I have only had one fight with my husband, it started on our wedding day in 1968 and we are hoping for an ending real soon.” While her comment was humorous, it does highlight one of the problems in communication with couples and families.
We offer a complementary 90 minute class on the recognizing and supporting traumatized children and their families, with one of our child therapists at our Mesa, AZ Office. This is an informational presentation, where you can ask questions to professionals and get some suggestions that might well help you with your family and children.
Family Communication Part #7: Family Identity – Beliefs, Values, and Attitudes All families have a collective sense of identity, sometimes that identity is an asset to the family and sometimes it is less so. Family identity or the “this is who we are” is based on a foundation of beliefs, values and attitudes. This family identity also carries with it a number of attached “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” that provide the matrix for family interactions to unfold. Read the rest of this entry »
Hurtful Words: A knowledge of the ways in which words affect you and how your family interact.
Every family has a unique way in which words produce responses. For example one family might really enjoy movies and insert movie lines to convey large bits of information in a specialized way.
Trust is a huge issue in communication and it plays out at a number of levels in a family. The parents that perceive bad intention in their spouse will react to these perceptions as if it were reality but that may not be the case. Trust is integral part of all solid attachment in any relationship, family, work or friendship.
One of the things that are very common in family communication is that people operate in a rather mindless way. Frequently we are unaware of what our silent messages are really communicating.
One time a client spent considerable time trying to convince me that she wasn’t communicating anything to her husband or children when she refused to speak with them or would behave sulkily. Of course through a discussion of this she finally came to realize that these silent communications were often louder and clearer than the verbal things she might say.
How many times have you found yourself planning your response before you have heard all of what a family member is saying? This fairly common family communication style is frequently found in families where members feel unheard, or unappreciated. This is a common family pattern with those that suffer from poor self-esteem, and depression.